prostě sexy kus,
minisukýnka, přiléhavé tričko, podprsenka žádná - a snaží se opravit
kolo.
Když je ženská zmerčí, tak hned na ně: "Pánové, neumíte někdo opravit kolo?
Já tomu vůbec nerozumím". Jeden chlap na to: "Jo já se v tom
vyznám, opravím
vám to." Druhý tomu prvnímu: "Tak opravuj, já už pomalu půjdu a
počkám tě na
kraji lesa". No chlap čeká na kámoše na kraji lesa 10 minut, 20
minut -
kámoš Furt nikde. Asi po půlhodině chlap kouká - jeho kámoš jede z
lesa na
kole od té ženské. Tož se ho ptá: "Ty vole, tys tu ženskou zabil a sebral
jsi jí to kolo nebo co?" Kámoš odvětí: "Ale ne. Já jsem jí to perfektně
spravil a ona byla tak šťastná, že sundala kalhotky a říká mi - vemte
si co
chcete. No tak jsem si vzal to kolo" Na to ten druhý: "No to jsi udělal
dobře, protože v těch kalhotkách bys vypadal jak debil!"
Ananás - zborový výkrik dievčat hladných po sexe
Čipera - obdobie rozvoja počítačov
Defilé - otázka Západoslováka : "Kto mi zjedol rybu?"
Dogmatik - pes vycvičený na matematické úlohy
Jalovec - upozornenie na to, že som poľovník
Kongeniálny - úžasne nadaný kôň
Matrika - po záhorácky "mať hovorí"
Poľovačky - vrecká polovičnej veľkosti
Poprad - dlhý rad kňazov pravoslávnej cirkvi
Silikóza - ľudový názov pre vystužený prsník
Snehulienka - dievčina fajčiaca aj v najväčších mrazoch
Stehno - prosba Angličana, aby ho nezašívali
Termofór - vtip o homosexuálovi
Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. ... Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem
To vôbec nie je vtipné. To je ilustrovaná realita.
- Dobrý deň, prosím vás, ako často meníte olej?
- Ako často? Nóóó, tak raz za rok?
- Raz za rok? A neškodí to vášmu motorovému vozidlu?
- Akému vozidlu? Ja mám stánok s hranolkami.
Príde učiteľka do triedy a hovorí žiakom:
- Dnes budeme počítať s kalkulačkami.
Deti sa začnú tešiť a učiteľka ďalej hovorí:
- Koľko je 590 kalkulačiek a 790 kalkulačiek?
Prvni zena na mesici:
- Houstone, mame problem!
- Co?
- Ale nic, nech to být
- Co se stalo?
- Nic....
- Tak mi to rekni!
- Nee
http://www.bike-forum.cz/fotogalerie/ostatni/detail-44600.html