+1190
+1192
rowan •
8. 5. 2007 o 12:08 +1190
+1192
prostě sexy kus,
minisukýnka, přiléhavé tričko, podprsenka žádná - a snaží se opravit
kolo.
Když je ženská zmerčí, tak hned na ně: "Pánové, neumíte někdo opravit kolo?
Já tomu vůbec nerozumím". Jeden chlap na to: "Jo já se v tom
vyznám, opravím
vám to." Druhý tomu prvnímu: "Tak opravuj, já už pomalu půjdu a
počkám tě na
kraji lesa". No chlap čeká na kámoše na kraji lesa 10 minut, 20
minut -
kámoš Furt nikde. Asi po půlhodině chlap kouká - jeho kámoš jede z
lesa na
kole od té ženské. Tož se ho ptá: "Ty vole, tys tu ženskou zabil a sebral
jsi jí to kolo nebo co?" Kámoš odvětí: "Ale ne. Já jsem jí to perfektně
spravil a ona byla tak šťastná, že sundala kalhotky a říká mi - vemte
si co
chcete. No tak jsem si vzal to kolo" Na to ten druhý: "No to jsi udělal
dobře, protože v těch kalhotkách bys vypadal jak debil!"
-8% Topeak TUBI CARTRIDGE R16 sada na opravu tubeless plášťov
23,99 €
-8%
MOC 25,99 €
OneUp EDC Plug & Pliers sada na opravu bezdušových plášťov + kliešte
41,90 €
MOC 49,50 €
savings Pirelli SmarTUBE Yellow sada na opravu TPU duší
4,59 €
savings
MOC 16,89 €
arrow_outward
Initial reports of blithering idiocy emerged from the United States last year but these were thought to be isolated incidents caused by people who are so thick that if a floormat was touching their accelerator pedal would prefer to scream ‘Aaaaaaargh’ until they drove into a river rather than simply moving the mat backwards with their foot. However, it now seems the monumental stupidity is more widespread and may cause some Human Beings to decide that the best course of action in the event of being in a car with a throttle that won’t release is to telephone someone rather than to, for example, put the fucking car into neutral and bring it to a halt using the brakes as normal.
Jesus Christ, a member of the original God family who now runs his Father’s business, is expected to make a full statement shortly. In the meantime, the Archbishop of Canterbury, a senior manager at God’s UK operation, has told reporters that there are almost certainly Human Beings here in Britain that will need to be examined for signs of being so sodding thick that they probably shouldn’t have a driving licence in the first place. “It’s too early to say how this might affect people in the UK,” Mr Canterbury is quoted as saying. “But we have every reason to believe that there are some Human Beings that may being so brain fartingly stupid that if the throttle in their car became stuck, they would never think simply to depress the clutch and coast to a halt”.
However, it is understood that God’s representatives in the UK are keen to manage any recall as quickly and efficiently as possible, thereby minimising the number of mithering suburban twats who ring in to the Jeremy Vine show on Radio 2 and witter on about how they’re too scared to drive their Yaris to such a blindingly crass degree that listeners eventually start to get a sense of what it would be like if the editor of the Daily Mail did a stool into a syringe and then used it to inject vile reactionary shit into their ears.
As God seeks to clarify the extent of the stupidity problem and establish how many Human Beings will need to be recalled, theologians have been assessing just what has caused the problem of quite extraordinarily thick behaviour in the first place. “I suspect the problem lies in the rather clever engineering God has given the Human Being,” noted Dr Peter Peter Cockandballs of St Gobain College, Oxford. “The modern Human Being is actually remarkably durable and reliable, capable of lasting well over 80 years, but among its clever systems is something called Cognitive Reasoning. Normally this works very well, but over time Human Beings get used to being spoon fed blindingly obvious information such as those signs on motorways that say ‘fog’, and eventually they can just give up trying to have any discernment or ability to think rationally. Basically, the Human Being becomes a stupid moron. Hence the popularly of ITV’s Loose Women”.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUa6roo5qHQ&feature=player_embedded
Lamborghini Forum:
Hluk obtekajuceho vzduchu nad 330 km/h, neviem co s tym!
Audi A8 Forum:
Kde dat najlepsie opravit Rolexky?
Fiat Forum:
Hallo? To som tu jediny?
Mercedes C-Klasse forum:
Moj mercedes v nedelu pri ceste do obchodu zmokol - co mam teraz robit?
Alfa Forum:
Existuje aj zivot mimo servisu?
MX-5 Forum:
Niekto mi presiel Touaregom cez auto!
Touareg Forum:
Mam na podvozku zarazenu MX-5ku, da sa s tym jazdit alebo ju musim dostat von?
Renault Forum:
Predam mesacnu elektricenku - zn. Auto sa vratilo zo servisu skor.
Bentley Forum:
Dnes som musel pouzit popolnik. Ako ho mozem vymenit?
Porsche Cayenne Forum:
Spotreba pod 40L/100km - porucha motora?
Smart Forum:
Motor z motorky konecne zabudovany: vyrazne zvysenie vykonu!
Mustang Forum:
Nejaky kokos v Civicu sa ma dnes snazil predbehnut!
Civic Forum:
Nejaky kokos v Mustangu sa ma dnes pokusil predbehnut!
Honda Accord Forum:
Dostal som auto od mamy. Kde zozeniem lacne 18palcove disky?
VW Bora Forum:
Uz mam toho dost, kazdy si mysli ze mam Golf s ruksakom!
Opel Forum:
Moja Corsa nema na sebe ziadnu hrdzu! SKUTOCNE! (tema bola zmazana Adminom)
Yaris Forum:
Mozem ako chlap soferovat aj zenske auto?
Lexus Forum:
Kde zozeniem zadne svetla vo VW-Style?
BMW M3 forum:
Kde sa daju zohnat vonkajsie spetne zrkadla z Golfu 3?
Viper Forum:
Smart v nasavacom potrubi! Ako ho dostanem von?
Ford Fiesta Forum:
Pomoc - mam pod kapotou sijaci stroj!
Seat Marbella Forum:
Dnes som sa dokazal celu cestu drzat s nakladakom!
BMW 3xx E36 Forum:
Kde maju najsmazenejsi kebab v meste?
Hummer Forum:
Dnes som ohol naraznik. 10 mrtvych a 27 zranenych. Musim cierny lak kupit priamo u distributora Hummer, alebo sa da pouzit aj iny?
Distributor je 25km odo mna a to je vyse 1000SK na benzin!
Mercedes-Benz 190D Forum:
Kupujuci mojho auta mi poslal par otazok - neviete niekto Bengalsky?
Yugo Forum:
Kedy vam naposledy auto fungovalo?
Honda Civic CRX Forum:
Susedov pes spava v mojom vyfuku, mozem aj tak kludne nastartovat?
Mercedes S-Klasse Forum:
Zena a smradlavy pravnik sa ma snazia osklbat. Ako sa ich mozem zbavit bez zapisu do registru trestov?
Polo Forum:
Konecie mam znizeny podvozok! Akurat ze teraz nadociahnem na okienko v McDrive
Ferrari Forum:
Este som nebol mimo mesta. Ako funguju stupne 4,5,6?
Porsche Forum:
Dostal som defekt - bude spatny odpredaj leasingovke lacnejsi, alebo sa ho mam pokusit predat sam?
Twingo Forum:
Mracitka na predne svetla z pravej konskej hrivy!
BMW 7xx Forum:
Pomoc, mam preprogramovanu jednotku a neviem prinutit popolnik zavret sa!
-Z nocneho stolika
-A kto vam ich tam dava?
-Moja zena
-A ta ich ma odkial?
-Ja jej ich davam
-A vy mate odkial peniaze?
-Ved vravim ze z nocneho stolika.
Pocúvaj, ty dávas vyplaty zamestnancom, ked je kríza?
Nedávam, a ty?
Nedávam , a chodia do práce i tak?
Áno, chodia.
Pocúvaj, nemali by sme od nich vyberat vstupné?
Žalujúca stana mi dala úplatok 10.000, odporca mi dal úplatok 12.000.
Týmto vraciam odporcovi 2.000 a budem rozhodovať nestranne..
Dnes som ohol naraznik. 10 mrtvych a 27 zranenych. Musim cierny lak kupit priamo u distributora Hummer, alebo sa da pouzit aj iny?
Distributor je 25km odo mna a to je vyse 1000SK na benzin!
mmm..hummer na benzin